My gay brother walks into the room without a shirt on
Me: Hey topless
Him: Well you don’t have to rub it in that I’m single
IT TOOK ME A MINUTE.
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid
god dammit not again